Dr Linda Helps - Testimony on 700 Club, April 6,2000

Gordon Robertson: How did your wife get involved in this process? Did you go and have a real heart-to-heart conversation with her about what was going on?

Clay: One day we had to have a little sit down. It was a confession that I just had to say, ‘Renna, there are some areas of my life that you’re kind of familiar with, but I want you to know the extent that my thought life has gotten out of control. And thankfully I had never committed adultery, but in my mind, sadly, I had.’ I think I was getting to the point where that might actually become a reality. I had to confess that to her, and let her know that I wanted to change. I wanted to start that day and become a different man, the title of my CD. It’s not just a marketing thing or a catchy title. It’s the truth. It’s something that I’m trying to be, a different guy for her.
Gordon: A lot of men have a huge fear of taking that step and saying, ‘Well, the last thing I want to do is tell my wife.’ What was her response?

Clay:  There were tears. It was not that easy; it isn’t always easy. Someone told me God wants to make us holy. Sometimes it’s a painful process. I also heard it said that we will do anything to advance ourselves, except we need to do it with a whole heart and work hard at it. This was something that took a whole heart and some work and pain. The end result is a closer walk with God and a closer walk with my wife. I felt a real freedom in it. I felt like some walls have come down in our marriage that didn’t belong there and it’s a rich time. It really is my life. I’m thankful to God for showing me this.

Gordon: Is your relationship with your wife better now?

Clay: No question about it. We’ve been married ten years now. It’s been great. It really has. I don’t think our marriage was really ever on the rocks, but I looked at where I was going and the path I was on, it could have been rocky. That’s what scared me and shook me up the most.

Gordon: I know that these besetting sins tend to thrive more when they’re kept in darkness. Was there a spiritual release for you out of this time of confession when you took the covers off of it and said, ‘This is what’s really going on.’
Clay: There’s been spiritual growth in my life the past two years, more so than I had experienced my whole life. It’s been exciting. A couple of months ago, more like six months ago, I prayed, ‘God, I thank you for this recommitment and new walk I have with You, but now I want You to show me new and exciting ways to serve You and for You to be glorified in my life and through my ministries and my family.’ He’s definitely done that. I’m here today to talk to you about that and not necessarily this new CD or about the latest thing going on with Clay Cross the musician. I’m here to tell you that God is real and He loves me and He’s protecting me.

Gordon: You cannot grow up in American culture today without being exposed to pornography, and it has to have an impact on you. What advice would you give men?

Clay: I would challenge them to not look at themselves as just guys. We buy the old Popeye mentality, “I am what I am and I can’t get past that.” I would challenge them to say no. God is in you. If you’re a believer, Christ is in your heart and the Holy Spirit in you. You can rise above this type of thing. You can raise the standard of your life and say, ‘you know what, this is the way I’m going to live. This is the way I’m going to walk and deal with people and this is how God would have me live.’ I don’t want to say, it’s that simple, but it is as simple as saying, ‘God, I want You to be seen through me and all my actions, and everything I do, and every decision I make.’ Our life is constantly one decision after another. Every choice guys face, I challenge them to say, ‘How is this going to affect my life? How is this going to affect my marriage, my relationship with God? Don’t sweep any areas under the rug. Don’t say, ‘Well, this isn’t a big deal really, that’s just how guys act.’ It’s too important.